My ex-husband walked into the salon one fateful day
I cut his hair. He was sooo good looking that all my other coworkers were spreading their peacock feathers and going nuts that I had been the lucky one to get him in my chair.
Not paying him any mind I gave him a haircut and sent Mr. Hotty on his way.
Back then there were no cell phones so he went home and called the salon and gave the receptionist his number and a message for me to call him.
As the girls all took me in the back room and squealed how lucky I was and I would be a fool if I didn't call him!
For the next 20yrs Mr. Tall, dark, Italian handsome would get a free haircut.
Was this fate?
A lot of my hairdresser friends had met their significant others the same way.
There we are just standing behind the chair doing hair and BAM! Love walks in the door.
And our fate is sealed
Or is it?
Unfortunately my predestined love story ended 17 yrs later and after 2 kids my Prince Charming turned into a pumpkin.
After a lifetime of failed relationships and now a divorce
As I stand at the dating gates of Hell
Do I now live my life one bad date away from being bitter???
No not yet fate says to me.....
The Universe is going to throw one more relationship at you that's going to rock your world and forever change how I now view Love.....
Lucky me!
After my divorce I was happy
Happy to be out of that bad marriage
I had such hopes
I had a second chance to find that "true love" we all dream about
Ya right!
Fate
Fate would step in once again and give me Love
If I only knew back then the Hell I was about to enter
I would have removed myself from the game at the very beginning
Why hadn't my card reader seen this coming??
Lucky me I would waste a year with a man that had noo bonding with me!
I was sooo in love I never saw it!
This Prince Harming wore one nasty mask
Fooled to the very end
This love had played one bad game
Behind the scenes there was another women.
All the while I was being compared and he was deciding who would be a better mate......
Please tell me no one is this mentally ill?!
But they are.....
A new word would be added into my vocabulary
NARCISSIM
My therapist would use this word over and over again as I spewed my horrible love story
Lucky me.....
I had encountered a narcissist
Was this fate?
Why me?!
I would ask this question for the next few years
Why me?!
All my girlfriends that had gotten divorced at the same time I did and even my ex-husband had gotten lucky
And fate had found them all someone wonderful.
Now in my 40's and struggling with this loss, I had to keep it all together.
I was a mom, I had a career, I had financial responsibilities. Damnit why was this happening to me?!
This was the one love fate had brought me.
It came it went
And left me hanging on
Yes I was hanging on for dear life
I felt like I was on the Titannic and the ship was sinking
There I was hanging on the railing for my life.....
But before I got a chance to save myself it would be my own partner who would unravel my fingers from the railing and let me perish.....
How could this be????
As I fell into the waters our eyes would meet.....
he was laughing at me
The last moments of this love I would come to see my great demise was preplanned
The new target not having the same fate as I
How do we not be syndical after the death of such a love that was felt to our core?
What was I to do now....
I don't fall in love very easily
Or with everyone that comes along
But was this fate?
When I came to the surface
I would find myself in New York
But if I had to be mending a broken heart what a fabulous place fate had placed me!
And why....
Maybe our mistakes shape our fate
If we don't veer of coarse
Anyway don't they say....
The ones we love always remain in our hearts?
Do any of us really believe in that?
That theory that God or the Universe has that one certain person meant just for us.....
Predestined
Blah, Blah, Blah
Thanks to my Prince Harming
I was now living and working in New York
And once again in search of Love
Or did I make a mistake and change my fate?
How many of us ask this?
I had indeed changed my fate
And now the fate I had created would take me into a world I had only ever dreamed of
When your single and living in New York the city is one big smorgasbord
Of things to do and see.
New York is so international anymore
On any given nite you can be transported to any country around the world without even having to leave Manhattan
With 8 million of us living in this fabulous city I was sure to find love once again
Sure....
Or was I destined to be a spinster living in Queens with 10 cats?!
Everyone knows you only get 2 great loves in your lifetime
The kind of love that shocks you to your core, that changes you for the better
We all ask ourselves....
Does anyone really understand love
Love has eluded everyone down the ages great writers, philosophers, scientists and moralists.
Google even reporting that the top search in 2012 being "What is love"
Even scientists at Universities define love as a compilation of 3 components:
Intamacy
Commitment
Passion
But Mr. Scientists, that doesn't solve the riddle
But in real life society which is most of us who are in search for love, or trying to mend it, keep it, just turns into a big disaster
And leaving most of us robbed of all hopes
Women are no longer marrying for financial support
The men I date or get involved with are looking for that girl who's going to be his "mommy" or has a "purse"
Yes....
I attract the boys
Not men
A good man takes care of his women
Not the other way around!
Sorry, I'm old fashion
Dependency now a days is a dirty word!
Trust in any relationship helps us over come rough times that pop up
As we all go in search of that one "great love"
We all look for that one person
That provides us with a secure attachment, bonding, empathy and compassion.
With none of us being perfect love doesn't end up like in the movies
But it would be nice to find a partner that understands us, is our "safe haven" from that nasty world outside.
To come home every night to the same person for the rest of your life, to be unified with, safe with, respected
And loved.
Are our lives predestined?
Do you think a great love exist?
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