Tuesday, March 15, 2016

BACK TO THE BAR........ BRYANT PARK

Like I was telling you.....
In the summer 2015 I started working for the Hottest blowout salon in New York.....
Drybar

Alli Webb was the brainstorm behind the fun salon that I call home in New York
The company was started in Brentwood  Cally and when it hit the scene of Manhattan it became all the rage

There's now, I think, ten locations throughout the city. My home salon being Bryant Park.
The Bryant Park salon is lovely, the minute you walk in the door it's elegence beems at you.
everthing is white and exhumes feminity. The countertops are white marble, the mirrors are not in front of you like at your traditional salon, their behind you, but even the mirrors are suedo feminine.

The Bryant Park salon is the newest location in the city. And it sparkles like a new salon. It's just pretty.

Drybar is fun......  The first thing every girl is offered is a complimentary glass of champagne, wine, coffee or tea. Of coarse most gals go for the champagne.....

Theres a catalog of hairstyles you are to chose from and probably the most popular is called the Cosmo, I call it the now a days Farrah Fawcett hairstyle.

Girls from near and far come to our salon in Mid-town.

I have had clients from as far away as Australia tell me that on their NYC bucketlist was Central Park, the Highline and Drybar.

Celebrities do come in. They give us no trouble at all and always disappear back into the streets of NY as quietly as they came in.

It's our mainstream pretentious beotches that give us the most trouble as we blow dry behind our chairs.

It's the usual millenial, college educated, brown hair, pompous ass, unattractive, low self esteem chick opening her not so charming mouth.

Whats she beotching bout????

Who the hell knows?!

I'm not even sure who marries these disgruntled charmers, most likely some guy who went to some boring Law school and has no personality himself, with visions that the perfect wife come with a long list of fine crediantials, a staunch personality and the future micro-manager of his family. This sort of man is not looking to marry a Barbie or have a life filled with laughter and fun.He's looking for more shallow reasons to marry. Who will mommy, daddy approve of who will the family be impressed with and who his fraternity brothers will most certainly say behind his back, "What a shame, he married such an unattractive beotch!"

But, yes, I must say these are the girls giving us the run for our money..... or lack there of

I welcome you, to Bryant Park
xoxo







MATTERS OF THE HEART..... DATING 101

Judgement day can arrive early on in any relationship. Thanx to all the musicians and the worlds  poets for the endless supply of ridiculious promises and inspiration of Love........ Oh how they all spew out that fairytale of blissful happiness.

Love's promise to be unconditional is the funniest joke on the planet! That promise of uncondtional Love is just bullsh****

It's a great place to visit, but no one really lives there.

The raw truth is.... we allll judge each other

here's the biggest kicker, being judged by the one you Love can feel like a huge betrayal!
it comes in the back door and kicks your legs out
that one person you should be able to trust the most on the planet is always the first one to denounce you.

Why is that?

It's a HUGE violation of that private contract that exist secretly between the two of you. The one that clearly stated in clause three, paragraph ten, "You will Love me and accept me no matter what."

Ya, right!

Most people forget to read the fine print that goes something like this, "I don't need you, there's 2 million single people in this city, I'll just dupe you and quickly move onto someone else!"

Judgement can tank any relationship

I think the wisest response to being judged
comes from the mouth of babes, "Your not the boss of me!"

Thursday, March 10, 2016

DRYBAR

In the summer of 2015 I started working for the most popular blow out bar in the country.

I had returned to New York after a small fling with a United States Secret Service agent. This had taken me to one of our countries worse cities! Who the hell lives in Pittsburgh?! I suppose some do.....
but it's literally impossible to go from living in New York City to living in Pittsburgh! What was I thinking.

My exit from from this town was quick. I came home from work one afternoon and said, "I'm out of here!" I packed up my things and headed very quickly back east to my people.

The minute I walked through the doors of Port Authority Bus terminal and my feet hit the sidewalk of 8th Avenue I kissed the ground. There stood before me the famous New York Times building, and I knew I was home.

It was May of 2015 and I went on audition after audition searching for a salon that would be a good fit for me. A Russian friend whom I had worked for years earlier in the Village had heard I was back
in New York and gave me a call. They had opened another salon location and were looking for an American girl to be apart of their Upper West side staff.

Now, I have lived and worked in New York for the last ten years and knew this UWS salon situation
was not thrilling me.

The UWS is a totally different entity than the rest of the city. It's clean, quiet, has a suburbia American feel. There's a lot of liberal, conservative nuts in the UWS. After checking out my friends new location I was skeptical.  Don't get me wrong, the salon was gorgeous, but I wasn't feeling it.

Somehow I stumbled upon Drybar. My audition would take place in Tribeca. I was a seasoned hairstylist coming out of small town America. Us suburbia  Americans don't blow dry like these beotches from around the world!

let's just say..... I never challenge a Dominican girl to a blow dry throw down!!! I know I ain't winning.

I had three days of auditions. These people weren't messing around. On the third day I was told I had gotten the job and would return the following Monday for a week of training.

and the training would begin.



Tuesday, March 8, 2016

SALON CLIENTS 2016

Today I'm going to discuss real quick.......
the dreaded Micro-managing Mothers
this interesting breed of clients makes us stylist give the famous "eye roll"
she is an amussing character
and in 2016 she's a force that, yes, us hairstylist have learned to shut down
and tune out
most of us will actually tell her to please return to the waiting area

She can be quite amussing......
arriving in true suburbia America housewife form
she's the girl who most likely is well educated yet uses none of her degrees
because she went to college to find a husband to take care of her for the rest of her pathetic,
unhappy, miserable married life.

So..... this is where this gal enters the salon and thinks she's going to boss yet....
someone else around
ain't happening with my tribe

If it's one thing one does not do......
and that's tell a hairdresser how to do their job!

This is Taboo.... NEVER ever do this to your stylist!
NEVER!

This women will even goes sooo far as to tell us how to cut the hair
Like she even knows herself.......
last week I had one mother even say to me, "Do you know what I mean and how to cut what I'm
describing"
I literally gave her the evil hairstylist look, that stairdown that we give when you know
you have pushed us over the beyond angry edge and are now going to be banished very quickly from
the salon....... FOREVER!