Thursday, April 7, 2016


The Difficult client syndrome only occurs maybe the most three times a year.
You get that one douchebag that thinks his/her hair is that of something really special
And nooooo hairstylist on the planet EVER gets it right.....

Well listen up

This is the one way to get yourself Blackbawlded from any salon


Us hairstylist put up with very little drama

And if there is drama we want to be the ones creating it!

A thorough consultation is the only way to avoid this disaster

But then there's always the client that wants to always create trouble

Never come into any salon and play the stylist against each other!

In a TEAM salon environment we will nab that sh**** in the butt right away

In New York the foreigners always play a mean game and obviously were  never taught the meaning of team in their countries. Those stylist from poor third world countries have the attitude...
One for all and all for one!

But those of us that were trained in the best salon fashion houses on the planet understand the meaning of team

Back to the client....,

Yes, a good consultation is always the best approach
Repeating back to the client is another approach

If all else fails!
Record that dang pain in the a****
And hit replay when they call to complain!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016


In Manhattan there just are no kids in the salon.
At least not the ones I ever worked in.
I'm sure the nannies take them to some secret kid salon in Queens or Brooklyn
Where the sign on the door says, "We Welcome Children"

How painful for those stylist!

In suburbia America the story is completely different!

The over bearing, micro-managing mother just can't let her little darling make a decision!
And this starts from the beginning....

The latest for suburbia American  moms is to make sure her 18 month old all the way up to teenagers
Are wearing what "she" thinks is the "in" look

Causing us in the fashion world to want to just step outside and have a complete melt down

Like I said before.....

Most of these mothers could use a MAJOR makeover themselves!
Over weight, no makeup, wearing an outfit I'm sure she stole from some poor homeless man

The other day in strolled one of these such mommies
Strapped around her waist an 18 month old who she said was in desperate need of a style


The look on my face priceless

I'm not quite sure what goes through these mothers minds
He was a baby!
I'm not quite sure what baby fashion magazine he was being offered a job for
But seriously his hair was just fine for a baby

She literally asked me to give him a style

I had to bite my tongue and ask her if I could give her a style before him!

It's the same way with the teenage boys

Now teenage boys are pretty much like that baby......

Especially 14 year old boys.....
They ain't talking!

These micro-managing mothers are certainly loose screws

And they are in noooo position to offer fashion advice!

An 18 month old baby is in NOOO need for gel in his hair

And teenage boys are deaf mutes
But most likely because they have decided to stop talking because mommy monopolizes every part
Of their lives.....
Including every sentence they go to utter
What a better way to get back at that sort of mother......
Let's just make a fool of her she'll never know.....
So they just stop using their own brains

Most teenage boys are wearing their hair either 2 ways.....
Or whatever David Beckham wears

All day long that's allllll we do......
The David Beckham haircut

The preppy nerds.....
Mommy comes along to make sure and guide me into making sure I only take a half inch
Of his very Ralph Lauren nerdy look. His name is something like Archer or Woodley.
Nice staunch, embarrassing "family" names that the poor child wants nothing more than to commit
Suicide for having such a name and dreams of one day when he can change it to something normal....
Like Mike

But, we are hairdressers and this is the salon life we endure

Saturday, April 2, 2016


Sometimes when I'm not in New York  I live in the suburbs of Philly. That's what those of us raised in and around Philadelphia call the city.

The most annoying thing for me are the house fraus of the suburbs. Not all of them but most of them are just a dang pain in the a**!!

Their an interesting breed. Most went to college to catch their current husband or their first husband and can be quite well education. Some of these chicks are strapped tight with PHD's but using their prestigious education for volunteer work or just working part time as adjunct professors. 

These less than lovely creatures can be found most days micro-managing their entire home. I'm not quite sure who marries these sort of women but they must be Doing something right most of their husbands seem ok with being micro-managed & bossed around. 

When they enter the salon they now have NOOO idea they have just entered a different ball park! Welcome to hairdresser world where the name of our game is "We are the coach" 

To their dismay their micro-managing skills are usually retained to being banished to the waiting area. 


The latest trend for micro-managing their child's hairdo is nothing short of entertainment 
Usually poor little Brittany or  Josh want nothing these creatures suggest and that's when we gotta step in to mediate. 

I don't mess around anymore with these ridiculous women. Most of them in dire need of complete makeovers themselves!  I also always wonder how these women have left themselves go and still manage to keep their husbands. 

They arrive into the salon with children in hand dressed in their yoga pants or an outfit they wore back in 2001. Never any makeup and usually sporting a version of the suburbia American Classic "mom" Bob. 

I usually find myself wondering...... 
Are there any mirrors in your house
And DO you actually look in them?! 

These mommies are VERY bossy 
They want their disgruntled child to either wear something that the kid at 14 completely does SO NOT want to wear! 

I actually had to tell one of these gals last week...
"He's not eight  he's fourteen!" 
The kid which was a fourteen year old boy actually returned to the salon and said, "Thank you for giving my mom the beet down, she just doesn't get it." 

I sent that broad right to the street! 

I now know my mission in life was to save every teenage kid from their micro-managing clueless mother. 

Wanna talk hair, makeup and fashion?!
Don't mess with your hairdresser! 

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


Like I was telling you.....
In the summer 2015 I started working for the Hottest blowout salon in New York.....

Alli Webb was the brainstorm behind the fun salon that I call home in New York
The company was started in Brentwood  Cally and when it hit the scene of Manhattan it became all the rage

There's now, I think, ten locations throughout the city. My home salon being Bryant Park.
The Bryant Park salon is lovely, the minute you walk in the door it's elegence beems at you.
everthing is white and exhumes feminity. The countertops are white marble, the mirrors are not in front of you like at your traditional salon, their behind you, but even the mirrors are suedo feminine.

The Bryant Park salon is the newest location in the city. And it sparkles like a new salon. It's just pretty.

Drybar is fun......  The first thing every girl is offered is a complimentary glass of champagne, wine, coffee or tea. Of coarse most gals go for the champagne.....

Theres a catalog of hairstyles you are to chose from and probably the most popular is called the Cosmo, I call it the now a days Farrah Fawcett hairstyle.

Girls from near and far come to our salon in Mid-town.

I have had clients from as far away as Australia tell me that on their NYC bucketlist was Central Park, the Highline and Drybar.

Celebrities do come in. They give us no trouble at all and always disappear back into the streets of NY as quietly as they came in.

It's our mainstream pretentious beotches that give us the most trouble as we blow dry behind our chairs.

It's the usual millenial, college educated, brown hair, pompous ass, unattractive, low self esteem chick opening her not so charming mouth.

Whats she beotching bout????

Who the hell knows?!

I'm not even sure who marries these disgruntled charmers, most likely some guy who went to some boring Law school and has no personality himself, with visions that the perfect wife come with a long list of fine crediantials, a staunch personality and the future micro-manager of his family. This sort of man is not looking to marry a Barbie or have a life filled with laughter and fun.He's looking for more shallow reasons to marry. Who will mommy, daddy approve of who will the family be impressed with and who his fraternity brothers will most certainly say behind his back, "What a shame, he married such an unattractive beotch!"

But, yes, I must say these are the girls giving us the run for our money..... or lack there of

I welcome you, to Bryant Park


Judgement day can arrive early on in any relationship. Thanx to all the musicians and the worlds  poets for the endless supply of ridiculious promises and inspiration of Love........ Oh how they all spew out that fairytale of blissful happiness.

Love's promise to be unconditional is the funniest joke on the planet! That promise of uncondtional Love is just bullsh****

It's a great place to visit, but no one really lives there.

The raw truth is.... we allll judge each other

here's the biggest kicker, being judged by the one you Love can feel like a huge betrayal!
it comes in the back door and kicks your legs out
that one person you should be able to trust the most on the planet is always the first one to denounce you.

Why is that?

It's a HUGE violation of that private contract that exist secretly between the two of you. The one that clearly stated in clause three, paragraph ten, "You will Love me and accept me no matter what."

Ya, right!

Most people forget to read the fine print that goes something like this, "I don't need you, there's 2 million single people in this city, I'll just dupe you and quickly move onto someone else!"

Judgement can tank any relationship

I think the wisest response to being judged
comes from the mouth of babes, "Your not the boss of me!"

Thursday, March 10, 2016


In the summer of 2015 I started working for the most popular blow out bar in the country.

I had returned to New York after a small fling with a United States Secret Service agent. This had taken me to one of our countries worse cities! Who the hell lives in Pittsburgh?! I suppose some do.....
but it's literally impossible to go from living in New York City to living in Pittsburgh! What was I thinking.

My exit from from this town was quick. I came home from work one afternoon and said, "I'm out of here!" I packed up my things and headed very quickly back east to my people.

The minute I walked through the doors of Port Authority Bus terminal and my feet hit the sidewalk of 8th Avenue I kissed the ground. There stood before me the famous New York Times building, and I knew I was home.

It was May of 2015 and I went on audition after audition searching for a salon that would be a good fit for me. A Russian friend whom I had worked for years earlier in the Village had heard I was back
in New York and gave me a call. They had opened another salon location and were looking for an American girl to be apart of their Upper West side staff.

Now, I have lived and worked in New York for the last ten years and knew this UWS salon situation
was not thrilling me.

The UWS is a totally different entity than the rest of the city. It's clean, quiet, has a suburbia American feel. There's a lot of liberal, conservative nuts in the UWS. After checking out my friends new location I was skeptical.  Don't get me wrong, the salon was gorgeous, but I wasn't feeling it.

Somehow I stumbled upon Drybar. My audition would take place in Tribeca. I was a seasoned hairstylist coming out of small town America. Us suburbia  Americans don't blow dry like these beotches from around the world!

let's just say..... I never challenge a Dominican girl to a blow dry throw down!!! I know I ain't winning.

I had three days of auditions. These people weren't messing around. On the third day I was told I had gotten the job and would return the following Monday for a week of training.

and the training would begin.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016


Today I'm going to discuss real quick.......
the dreaded Micro-managing Mothers
this interesting breed of clients makes us stylist give the famous "eye roll"
she is an amussing character
and in 2016 she's a force that, yes, us hairstylist have learned to shut down
and tune out
most of us will actually tell her to please return to the waiting area

She can be quite amussing......
arriving in true suburbia America housewife form
she's the girl who most likely is well educated yet uses none of her degrees
because she went to college to find a husband to take care of her for the rest of her pathetic,
unhappy, miserable married life.

So..... this is where this gal enters the salon and thinks she's going to boss yet....
someone else around
ain't happening with my tribe

If it's one thing one does not do......
and that's tell a hairdresser how to do their job!

This is Taboo.... NEVER ever do this to your stylist!

This women will even goes sooo far as to tell us how to cut the hair
Like she even knows herself.......
last week I had one mother even say to me, "Do you know what I mean and how to cut what I'm
I literally gave her the evil hairstylist look, that stairdown that we give when you know
you have pushed us over the beyond angry edge and are now going to be banished very quickly from
the salon....... FOREVER!