Saturday, April 2, 2016

SUBURBIA AMERICAN HOUSEWIVES

Sometimes when I'm not in New York  I live in the suburbs of Philly. That's what those of us raised in and around Philadelphia call the city.

The most annoying thing for me are the house fraus of the suburbs. Not all of them but most of them are just a dang pain in the a**!!

Their an interesting breed. Most went to college to catch their current husband or their first husband and can be quite well education. Some of these chicks are strapped tight with PHD's but using their prestigious education for volunteer work or just working part time as adjunct professors. 

These less than lovely creatures can be found most days micro-managing their entire home. I'm not quite sure who marries these sort of women but they must be Doing something right most of their husbands seem ok with being micro-managed & bossed around. 

When they enter the salon they now have NOOO idea they have just entered a different ball park! Welcome to hairdresser world where the name of our game is "We are the coach" 

To their dismay their micro-managing skills are usually retained to being banished to the waiting area. 

RULE OF THUMB
NEVER TELL A HAIRDRESSER HOW TO DO THEIR JOB

The latest trend for micro-managing their child's hairdo is nothing short of entertainment 
Usually poor little Brittany or  Josh want nothing these creatures suggest and that's when we gotta step in to mediate. 

I don't mess around anymore with these ridiculous women. Most of them in dire need of complete makeovers themselves!  I also always wonder how these women have left themselves go and still manage to keep their husbands. 

They arrive into the salon with children in hand dressed in their yoga pants or an outfit they wore back in 2001. Never any makeup and usually sporting a version of the suburbia American Classic "mom" Bob. 

I usually find myself wondering...... 
Are there any mirrors in your house
And DO you actually look in them?! 

These mommies are VERY bossy 
They want their disgruntled child to either wear something that the kid at 14 completely does SO NOT want to wear! 

I actually had to tell one of these gals last week...
"He's not eight  he's fourteen!" 
The kid which was a fourteen year old boy actually returned to the salon and said, "Thank you for giving my mom the beet down, she just doesn't get it." 

I sent that broad right to the street! 

I now know my mission in life was to save every teenage kid from their micro-managing clueless mother. 

Wanna talk hair, makeup and fashion?!
Don't mess with your hairdresser! 







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