Friday, October 10, 2014

DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LUV

The other night when I was out with my girlfriends
I noticed from across the bar an old 
Boyfriend 
We hadn't spoken in years 
Since our very nasty split

He had cheated on me with some 
God awful horrible creature that he thought.......
I'll just end that statement because I'm not quit sure what he thought 

Let's just say, I always describe the episode as a Disney movie
Cinderella was never to be duped for Cruella Di Vil
And that was what she exactly is 
No other man wants her so that's why 
She was able to snag mine 
Obviously these 2 lack sooo much of everything in their personalities the least is good character

And remember......
I believe firmly in Girl Code
There's too many single  men and women out there no one needs to steal from someone else

Anyway.....
From across the room I could see him. 
Obviously this night Cruella must've been working someone else's man
That she wasn't with the Hillbilly she stole away from me

The charm he is
(Sooo not) 
My girlfriends instantly saw him as well
He leaves a bad taste in most of my 
Close friends mouth
And when they to spotted him 
They started humming the theme song to Jaws.. They instantly said, 
"Oh God!, he's just not good looking at all, what did you ever see in him?" 

Confused myself and struggling for an answer I stood there frozen as I notice him start to stroll across the room towards us. WTH was he thinking!
Did he fall and bump his head????

As he ended up standing next to me 
I would not acknowledge his presence
As I continued to look at my friends standing in front of me
My girlfriends were polite and said hello
I closed my eyes thinking was I having a nightmare. 
As I stood there I could feel the anger boil in me....
Next thing I hear this evil incubus try to speak to me

REALLY!!!

I would not acknowledge this vile low class idiot

He kept trying to get on my good side.
He says to me, "How have you been?"
"You look great, could we talk?" 

I would not look at him or speak to him. As far as I'm concerned he was dead. He was not worthy of any of my precious time. 
This was a man who had shown sooo little respect for me and our relationship. How dare he think he ever deserved for me to ever speak to him again! 
Aren't people amazing????

As he stood there next to me
He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the crowd

Please, he said to me
"I'm sorry for what I did"

I could feel my anger once more 
My face went completely red
As I opened my mouth to speak
I knew whatever I said needed to be articulated firmly and with as many 
Insults as I could get in.

This would be my last lecture
To such a vile human being

You are obviously many things
The least is redundant
If you weren't so full of your own virtues you would have known better than to approach me and my friends. 
I'm sooo embarrassed for you and the chosen path of life you have traveled down. She is making you look like a total Dufus. Your life priorities are obviously obscured and blinded. Your opinions mean nothing to me and when you open your mouth to speak I can see why the Smithsonian has made room for your dumb-assery. 
  Your freak flag is flying and I would appreciate for you to fly it elsewhere.
The atrocities you pulled on me and our relationship deplorable. 
  I feel no need to speak to you after this ever again. Do not come near me, approach me ever!
  You are just an unpleasant idiot. I see the world through different eyes now. 
The only way I could ever explain what you did to me and our relationship would be in a therapist office with dolls. 
 The buses in your brain just don't go where you live. Or you would have never wanted that thing your now with over me. The elevators in your building don't go all the way up either. 
  Go home to the homewrecker, wax museum that you chose to be with. The plastic that she is. Where her face never moves and everyone's always amazed how lifelike she looks. I hear you follow her like a dog. You truly are disgusting. Your just a vile ugly old man inside and out. 

And I walked away forever......
A dog does get his day!










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