A HEARTATTACK

During this relationship my narcissist would suffer a heart attack

I would also get blamed for this

No wonder he had a heart attack

He new behind my back he was working 

Someone else on the side!

Trying to manipulate both of us must've been just terrible for Mr. Prince Harming

My God, he's sooo damn good looking, 

Why doesn't every girl in the Area get in line?! (Not) 

  This would also be meaningless to my narcissist. We actually went through two surgeries together. Me giving my heart and soul into making sure he was ok. 

   The heart attack was the breaking point 

For my clinical psychologist, blown away that there was still no bonding with me. 

After both of us experiencing such a major life threatening event. Most people when encountered with life illness have MAJOR

EPIPHANIES and realize how valuable life is and the people in it. 

  This was a person I spent MOST of my waking moments with plus most of my sleeping moments with. When two people are in a "close" relationship spending every day together like we were there is some MAJOR bonding going on. This is were my counselor would draw the line that this was a narcissist I had spent my time with. There's was no BONDING with me during this entire time or this man would have never been able to discard me so quickly, with no remorse. 

  I will always remember how emotionally exhausted I was that night of his heart attack. I was terrified that he would pass away, my terror had no words. He had children I kept saying to God. His kids needed him. They were too young to go without him for the rest of their lives. I recall how I said goodbye to him before they took him in for surgery.Terrified & 

Overwhelmed, I would lay down on a small 

God awful Hospital love seat and just begin to cry. Who do I call if he dies, we didn't discuss this, we hadn't discussed anything! No one from his family even came to be with him!! I was the lone ranger. I was the only one there for him!

I cried.....

   This would all be meaningless to him. 

My therapist needed hard liquor after this one. No bonding, only blame. I cried, I cried a lot. 

  No one knows the pain I carried in my heart over all this. I was a wounded warrior. I should win an Oscar for the marvelous show I put on. Yes, I was sooo 

F#%€£ Happy! 

   All I could think was how stupid people were! This was not ok! This was not normal! You idiots!! "Just go on with your life"  I hope many of you feel embarrassed your stupidity was taken into two of the most prestigious Universities on American soil and the story was presented. My friends from NYU  and Columbia University lay in schock! They would ALSO need therapy after hearing the story unravel.

  I had experienced a severe narcissist 

Abusive relationship. And "I" was to just move on and get over it! You silly, silly stupid suburbanites!