Called "Right of Passage"
This world will give you freedom like you've never experienced before in your
Whole life!
You have now lived long enough to have a lot of experience under your belt
With this being said I want to talk about
Marriage, and commitment
I was married for 17yrs
Prior to us getting married we dated for 2 yrs, then lived together 2 yrs
So that's a total of 21 yrs spent together
We literally grew up together like most couples who get married in their 20's
My ex-husband is a very handsome, charismatic, easy going, (not anal at all)
Tall, Italian/Irish guy. Unfortunately circumstances in our marriage would take a terrible turn. As to which caused me to walk away. Neither of us cheated and I would never do that to anyone and I don't think he would either. Both of us have certain standards and that classless behavior isn't part of either of our characters. AAHHH, I used the word character! Some lack this.
Anyway, when your with someone for this long period of time you have an understanding of what trust, loyalty and
A deep commitment consists of. ( Or you would think most of us do) Someone who's changing partners every so many years obviously does not.
Lets discuss what a Genuine loving long-term relationship consist of. And I'm not talking
Anything under 20yrs! I'm talking about those of us who are married for 20, 30, 40+ years. Not this playing immature house syndrome because we have commitment issues. I'm talking those of us who understand what it takes to make a real commitment and it doesn't include instant gratification. It doesn't include feeding broken egos or low self-esteem.
Ok, here we go...
Genuine love is rarely an emotional space
Where your needs are instantly gratified.
My God, that would mean for the rest of my life the minute my partner would not fulfill my instant gratifications I would have to proclaim, "Your not meeting my needs, I think I need to try something else" and move on to the next target!
WOW!! If I depended on that theory I would be jumping in/out of relationships
Like I change my underwear!!! But I'm mature, wise and experienced enough to know there's no perfect souls out there and my partner isn't going to be perfect.
OH, I'm sorry, did I just make you narcissists cringe?!
To know love we have to invest time and commitment (unless your dating a narcissist then there's absolutely no bonding. The next pair of pretty thongs that gets pushed in a narcs face he's just gone) considered the source. And the mentality of a narcissist. Always needing that ego stroked. Always having what "they" feel is the top draw out of life. The nicest house, the best looking wife, the best car etc.... You get it.
Dreaming that love will "Save" us, solves all of our problems, or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of love.
Which is to transform us
Many people want love to function like a drug. Like my narcissist did, once done with me and wanting to be with his new target I was told, "Well the good sex couldn't have continued much longer" see my narcissist high wasn't sustained anymore because they felt they had found something better. And this too was said to me! I don't think Walt Disney ever aspired to let the public think Cruella Di Vil was a better choice over Cinderella.
Yes! This is what separates these mentally not well individuals from us normal people
Do you see the sickness??
Are you with someone saying these horrible things?
Rape is a terrible trauma to get over
A narcissist once bored with you will discard you quickly and move right into
The next relationship. Mine lies and says
He dumbed me wayyy before getting with his new target. I wonder if my narc tells people he's balding due to the stress, trauma and drama I caused him?!(I got accused of causing too much drama... Ya right)
They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.... Little do they know or understand, Love is an action not just a feeling
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