I was a victim of narcissistic abuse years ago
Now after years of educating myself
Taking the path to healing after being so mistreated I'm ready to tell my tale and expose the raw truth what goes on behind closed doors in a bad, disfunctionable relationship with a very unhealthy person.
As survivors, we need to go easy on ourselves and realize this was not our fault.
Narcssist have what's called personality disorders
They lack empathy, compassion
Two very major human emotions
They are self centered and only focus on how life is benefiting themselves
There will be no "I'm sorry" from such a person.
They could careless how much they have hurt you.
Their only focused on the prize or new target
They will chase after E V E R Y thing they lack or have
Most of them, statistics show were born and raised poor
So they will desire status, image, financial affluence, spouses that are "Arm Candy"
You will only serve them till the next
Better "opportunity" comes along
As survivors we are taught to establish boundaries, learn to recognize "Red Flags" early
These people are not just encountered in romantic relationships
The narcssist comes in many forms
Your mother, father, siblings, co-workers
I would be expose to severe dose of this personality disorder after my divorce.
With high hopes of finding True Love
I was excited!
I had been married for almost twenty years.
I had not married the "Love of my life"
And was sooo excited to be free and have a second chance at Love.
Little did I know what was about to hit me!
I was always a little naive
Sweet, kind hearted girl
Never ever did I think someone would sooo want to create such a demise for me.
The Brick wall I was about to hit doing a hundred miles an hour would take me out of the game of love for years.
Alter forever how I view Love.
I meet my Prince Harming through a client at my salon.
Everything seemed to be going well
He did the typical things narcssist do.
He came on quick
Wanted to get serious very quickly
Loved Bombed me
Doused me in attention none stop texting, wanting to spend every minute of the day in some form of communication
At first I was thrilled
WOW! "How did I get sooo lucky"
I kept telling myself
He seemed to come out of nowhere
As though he was just plucked from heaven above
To save me
Save me from years of a horrible marriage
His was charming, sweet, kind, attentive, romantic
Everything I was looking for
Till.........
The Devil would would expose a side I hadn't E V E R seen in any of my other
Relationships
All of a sudden I was crying all the time
The hurtful things were starting to be said
The fights.....
That I wouldn't start
I felt like I was crazy!
I felt like every ounce of me was being
Emotional attacked and drained
My hopes of finding true happiness after a divorce started to be challenged
I kept saying, "No relationship is perfect, I know this from being married for twenty years"
Love is Blind
It also clouds your vision
It makes you down right stupid
But I'm not that type of girl
I'm smart, I'm sassy, I can speak up for myself! I had a great career!
I was being cheated on!
For months there would be another older, vile women being groomed for my position
I wasn't crazy
My demise was sooo being planned
In the end of a year relationship
With someone that was Glued to my hip
My demise for him would be very cold and easy
During this relationship I went through two surgerys with Prince Harming
One being a heart attach.
I had never given my ALL to any man in my life!
Not even my ex-husband got what my Prince Harming got!!
Here I was spending time, giving my life up to the Devil
And in the end it was simple for him
I would be pulled aside
Very matter of factly told, "I don't want to hurt you anymore and I think I need to try something else, I need to take a break" who says that to someone you've been dating long term?! WHO? This wasn't High School and we weren't teenagers! We were mature fourty year old adults!
Here we were
We both had gotten out of long term marriages a year earlier
We both had children
We had the same lifetime friends
We both were Blue collar workers
We were the same age
We both were divorced
We had every life similarity in common
And he would only spew out the words to this list as "I don't care about any of that!"
Blown away
I started to cry
God, why was this happening to me
How could someone that had spent sooo much time with me turn so quickly on me?!
What the Hell was happening?!
We had just celebrated our first year together and despite a few bumps I thought this was who I would be with for the rest of my life.
As he stood there with his cold glare and cold words
My life was about to fall apart
I couldn't think.... every part of me went numb
I was sooo in love
What was I to do.....
As my world came crumbling down
He was very callously able to get in his car and drive away
I could go on and on with this Horrible
Love story but I won't
And I'll end my tale there
I will tell you
My life would start to fall apart
As I would start to find out what was really going on for soo long
And the real reason for my demise
But that's not the point I want to make
I want to talk about what us survivors do after out discard
There's a few things us survivors do after we move forward from such a relationship
Some of us don't make it through!
I've met people trying to get help
And don't make it.
They can't seem to see a future without their narc.
Yes, those are the ones that take their own lives!
Some, never can seem to get their lives back together and lose jobs, go into financial disasters, self sooth using drugs, alcohol etc.... To release the pain
The rest of us.....
We GET IT!!
We get it sooo much
You aren't silencing us!
And that's one thing an abusive person wants.....
YOUR SILENCE!!
Noooo way
Hows that saying go?! "Want a different answer.... Ask Different girl"
Well, little did Mr. Prince Charming know.....
He picked on the wrong girl
Not only did I educate myself on this personality disorder
But I moved to New York City and fell
MADLY IN LOVE!!
Noooo not with anyone....
But with that city!
And I've been in love ever since
No, I wasn't about to let this inhuman person take me down
Not only did I arm myself
But I armed myself with all the right players!
As I formed my "Olympic" team to get
Educated and start my battle against one of the biggest growing problems on the planet
New York would be the greatest place
To win this battle
Not only did they recognize what I had gone through
They would get me involved with anything narcssist written or lectured provided
Years later I am armed
But still.....
There's one question all us survivors
Ask ourselves.
We really know the answers deep down inside
We know the answer all too well
But it's nice to be validated
That one question is.....
"How is that their relationship they are in now seems to be going well?"
Here are some wonderful, intelligent, Brilliant answers. All sent to me.
This is what we work on
This is the true story of surviving Narcissist abuse
I also want you all to know.....
Normal mentally healthy people don't conduct relationships like this
You don't date someone for long extended period of time to do this
You don't create illusions
You don't lie
You just don't
And this what divides us from them
Those of us that survive and hit that Epiphany
Are the lucky ones
Yes! You!
Your lucky
Unlike the narcissist and the new target.....
You've been blessed to finally get your second chance at finding real "healthy" true Love!
How exciting!
May you find healing in our words
Xoxoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment