Monday, January 6, 2014

A DIVORCE

Getting divorced is like a death
One minute their there
The next...... Gone
Most of us that get divorced 
Have been married for a long time

We the couple we were
Literally grew up together 

Most of us meeting when we were very 
Young

Then BAM! 

In a blink of an eye it's gone.....
Their gone.....
Forever

And even though
You might have wanted them gone
Learning to navigate your new life
Can come with a lot of heartaches
That friend you always had there 
To be with
Pal around with
Go out to dinner with
Watch sports with
Gone......

Getting divorced in your 40's 
Is the worse!!!
Most people at this age 
Are couples, and have relaxed 
Into their life routines 

If you have children
Usually at this stage of your life 
The kids are teenagers
And are always doing their own thing
Or you are on the cusp of being an 
Empty nester

The loneliness at times 
Can be unbearable

And there's days that are highs
And there's days that are lows 

You try to fill your new life with new things, a new house going back to college. 
Taking classes
Getting involved with things on your 
Bucket list

I'm not going to lie.....
As some of you have experienced
Somedays you wake up soooo
Depressed
And wonder.....what the hell have I done!
This just sucks

I had no choice
I had to leave my marriage
It was just sooo unhealthy 
And I new I deserved sooo much better

Otherwise......
If things would have been different
I would still be married
All in all
It's just sad

Sometimes I don't want to buck up
And get over it !!!
Sometimes I just want to shout out 
To the world
THIS IS EFFN HARD!!! AND EVERYONE 
GET OF MY CASE!!! IF YOU DON'T WALK IN MY SHOES, THEN STOP JUDGING ME AND KEEP YOUR DAMN 
MOUTH SHUT!!!

Dating.......
I've also noticed 
Most of you all run to find someone
Right away
I see you all running around like chickens
With your heads cut off
Despret to be with anyone
Than alone like me
My solitude has come with much growth
And madness
My madness isn't to date as many men as possible like some of my girlfriends
I took a step back from dating and actually haven't been in a committed relationship for awhile
My kids didn't like who I was dating 
And they come first
So I ended it
An adult with a healthy mind does these sort of things
I don't want them to be witness to a f.... Fest! I'm not 16 anymore. I'm able to make clear  conscious adult decisions 
My younger son expressing ALL the time 
He doesn't want me worrying about that
So, I don't....

And why exactly am I writing this??!!
Because as you can probably guess...
It's winter here on the East Coast 
And Cinderella is depressed & can't 
Seem to find her Prince

I suppose I've been banished far
From my Princes castle for the moment

And hope he comes to find me soon
If anyone deserves a happy ending
It's me 






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