PARALYZED

It's rare that I have a day off

But when I do, especially on a rainy dreary day like today

Sometimes I'm paralyzed

I can't move, I sit, it's my way of rejuvenation 

It's my time to sit and go over what's 

Going on in my mind....

It's only 2 things I think about

My children's well being and my career

Both apply much pressure

I sooo just want my children to have the 

World

I live with divorce guilt

I disrupted their lives

How will they process these trying times 

How do I???!!!! 

They have the right to expect 

What I expect

And our expectations are most likely

Incomprehensible of each other

As the preacher said....

I could write shorter sermons, but when I get started, I get to lazy to stop....

I see the world exactly as it is, and I'm 

Keenly aware of my loneliness....

But I'm only human

And this is history

I'm a realist

I no longer expect nothing from people, 

leaving me to be pleasantly

Surprised when I encounter good will 

And intelligence 

If I keep moving foreword 

Nothing bad can catch me

Don't let your past dictate who you are,

But let it be, who you become 

I've been dealing with a huge aftermath

Of arrogance 

It was more than a split...

It was a whole excorism

If we submit ourselves

To blindness 

Can you free yourself

But say all I've done 

I aspired to

Become worthy of

Proven by now

Shall I stop this bleeding

Have I made the right decisions

Now the story belongs to the ages